A day early. But I guess it would be Mothers Day already in Japan. For those of you who read this, this is not me wanting an "aww Im sorry about what happened to you" response. I just want to share what is my life, and my wishes and my feelings.
I went to the grocery store today and they had such a pretty selection of flowers. I found a bouquet that I would have loved to give to my mom. I thought about anyone else I could give it to but couldnt think of anyone so I just walked on by. I saw a couple girls walking around trying to pick out something-for their moms I guessed. I totally envied themthat they had a mother they could give flowers to! I have always gotten so excited when my parents' birthdays or mothers/fathers day or christmas came around because it was a time when I could suprise them with something. I remember getting so excited in 6th grade when I was planning to buy them an espresso maker for Christmas, it made me had to go poop when I was at walmart looking around for stuff. My "oh my gosh I am so excited!" reaction.
Anyways, it is funny how you think you will never heal, but like they say, it really is time that heals. Well for me, its more like time makes you feel. Then you can start to heal. Im not trying to make it rhyme on purpose. But it never really hit me how the little desires affect your thoughts everyday...like the desire to share with my mom how I met a great guy even though he's "old" (:P-baby you know I love you! and Emma I know you're agreeing), or discuss the arguments I have with my boyfriend, or little things that happen at work, at school, how I saw something funny. Its mostly me just wanting to share my life with her. It somehow means so much more when I can share it with her because she understands and knows me better than anybody else. And she is also someone that has taught me so much and has made me grow as a person--still continues to do so till this day. Im so blessed to have had such an amazing woman in my life.
Anyways, Happy Mothers Day mama channnn!!! I love you and miss you!
Hugs,
Yuka
